pain redefined.

How do I explain the pain, raw and stark, that flows through my body? I don't think it can be expressed with words. I could try though...
Its like a person that has been tortured, and has been managing with the pain,clinging to a flimsy strand of release, until that strand is yanked away, and a fresh wave of pain is introduced. No matter how long, nothing prepares him for the feel of this new onslaught. It comes tidal wave after wave, merciless as it metes out its punishment.

My soul cries out,its tryin to understand why? How? When? Not making too much of a headway, it transmits the pain to my body, which has less success at understanding. Maybe because these two parts of me hoped. Hoped foolishly, like a stupid child. Hoped that at the end of the day, it would have been worth the wait. My silly mind dreamed, of gold rings and silk red sheets, scented candles with 'not like crazy' playing in the background, that wonderful day when it ll all be worth it. How intensely foolish of me.

So now what? That dream has gone down d drain, there seems to be no point dreaming anything else. Perhaps its time to put an end to all my foolish and naïve dreams, they afterall, only multiply the pain, as if that were possible.

Let it go. I have no idea how. Lord pls help me, for the only thing that registered, is the last vestiges of hope shattering to pieces.

Ah, pain, redefined. Let me be. Pls Lord, have mercy on us both.