7 months down the line and I still feel as screwed up as the first day, perhaps even worse. Maybe because today was a special day, one of those days I've been dreading because I knew I would be painfully excluded. Perhaps that's why I feel like my world has still not regained its balance. If anything, I try desperately to be strong, to shake off the biting effects of those innuendos that tell me that someone else has been in that place I hoped was all mine. Maybe because I have now been smacked hard across the phase with the reality that his way and manner of dealing and living has absolutely no consideration for my life or my place in his. And now I wonder how much of this I can take, if this is all gonna pay off, if its all worth it.
Happy Birthday to you my dearest, I wish u all things beautiful, all things pure, all this great, all this wonderful.
Reflections from the pain in my heart, and the love in my soul.
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