Is there any such thing as square zero? you know, that point that is worse than square one. Cos if there is, that's where i've been hanging out 4 a while. At least in square one i was not acting like a crazy person. In square one i was not in this much physical pain. In square one i did not feel like someone was trying hard to suck the life out of me. So yeah, when you think you are back to square one, do remember, there is always some place worse!
I heard about a girl who prophesied during the hall week. Something about God being disappointed with this generation and this campus, and how He was gonna punish the campus. Funny thing is, someone else had said something similar before. Then there was the prophecy at the beginning of the year, about how youths should be careful of the company they keep and going out at night. Pretty scary stuff, considering the fact that my spirituality is not much to write home about at the moment. But then who can blame the Lord? we are a pretty messed up generation. We take so many things for granted, screw everything screwable, and we reserve God for sundays, between 9-12, not even the whole day. Hopefully we will get a wake up call sooner rather than later, because banking on later is not the safest gamble...anything can happen.
Right now, i don't feel good. Yesterday was particularly horrible. Today, perhaps slightly better. I have compounded my issues by talking too much, saying hurtful things that reflect what i have been feeling.
Someone told me to try to look forward to that time when this pain will end, or at least subside. Someone else suggested that i get myself a re-bound boyfriend. Funny thing, i got a very eager volunteer today. It was very amusing how willing he was, and how slightly tempted i am. Only slightly though...at least i hope so.
In the meantime, my project deadline will not shift with my mood. Neither will tommorrow's possible test (which i am not ready for) waver on my account.
Loving me was a responsibility, you once told me. You have no idea how true that is.
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