leaving it all on paper.

This is probably the most incoherent poem I will ever write. But I feel its the best way i can express myself right now, so here goes:

Leaving it all on paper, pushing it all away
Trying not to make a deal of it, trying to be okay
Its funny the things that inspire you, its funny the things that matter
Its funny the things that hurt so much, you really can’t get why.

Leaving it all on paper, wondering to myself,
Does it matter that there’s no obligation, or am I just being a pest?
Hoping is such a waste sometimes, when you know you shouldn’t
But it’s a tiny thing, such a tiny thing, I did not think you’d forget

Leaving it all on paper, hoping my head won’t hurt
Trying to get out of the first mode, ready to do the next
Wishing i did not care so much, wishing it did not matter
I just really cant believe, that you of all people would forget

Leaving it all on paper, coming to terms with life
The things that you really want, sometimes will only bring strife.
If it did not matter, if the thought did not occur
I will silently nurse my wounds, and heal to hope no more.