Ruminating...

Eternity is so crucial, yet men are so earthly-conscious that they barely give it a thought.

Got me thinking. Heaven, and making it there, is one of those things that we seldom think about. When we do think about it, such thought is accompanied by a burst of emotion, remorse perhaps, as to the way we have been living. But afterwards, such issues are forgotten as we embrace the mundane, and quite frankly, the useless things of this life.

Eternity. Whether we chose to acknowledge it, or consider it, whether we factor it in during gossip sessions, or make-out sessions, it is constant. It exists, mostly in the background, but it exists. It’s like the workings of the body as blood flows, as the spinal cord and the brain work together. It’s like the workings of the sun as it balances out the atmosphere, the workings of air has it moves in and out, here and there. We do not acknowledge it, until something happens, and it decides to show itself. We are so careless to assume that there is some eternal mercy that we are entitled to, some timeline somewhere which allows us to do things at our own time, as we wish. What we don’t realise is that ‘our own time’ is God simply cutting us some slack, yet again, because of the love which we totally do not deserve, but constantly take advantage of.
So I’m thinking about these things, thinking about my life and the things that may disqualify me from spending eternity with the Father. Thinking about how I need to really work on my relationship with God, and how I have to really let go.
Let go? Surely you are sick of that subject, dear non-existent followers. I certainly am. And I thought, or at least hoped that I was making good progress with that. After all, I’m now generally on my own, with the other party managing without my presence in any form or fashion. But I found today, with the most annoying realisation, that the progress I was somewhat proud of, was probably just a time-lapse, or the clamour of more pressing issues. How else will I explain the intensity with which I pursued and thought of the most mundane thing today? I amuse myself sometimes, the way I carry on. I know what I must do. I started already. It’s the other part that seems so difficult. Maybe it’s because I have never done it before, and I never thought I’d have to do it. Maybe it’s just the way I am. I really don’t know. But when I finally get to that point, will I feel different? Certainly. In some ways, I look forward to it. In other ways, I hope it happens differently.

I hear that your love, if you let it go, and it comes back, then it’s back to stay. I just have to familiarise myself with the possibility that it may not come back.