Many times in the last few days i have dreamed about how i would write this blog. I have thought about the title to give it, the end it will have, the form it will take. Now i have reason to write, i have so much to share, and a lot to learn.
In June or July of this year, can't remember exactly when, in the darkest period of my life, I wondered to myself, what will I remember my 21st year for? Will the pain of my experience overshadow any good thing that I may have gone through? Will the most poignant memory be one of misery? I did not want that to be my case, afterall, 21 comes around once in a lifetime. So i set out to partake in some activity or the other, things that were fun, that i could remember. Unfortunately, i was unable to sustain my interest in them, and somehow, life just moved along. I did not realise that God had other plans, and He was about to push me in the right direction, which i was too lazy and scattered to find on my own.
As I write, God has become more real to me than He ever was. He isn't just the Supreme being in the sky that you have to serve for the sake of eternity and consequences. He is MY God, my Lord, my very best friend, The bestest Dad a person could ever have, and He was setting up for me an experience that would perhaps change the direction of my life.
As usual, it was in the most unusual, unexpected and least thought of way. He has made it quite clear that i cannot predict Him. I cannot teach Him how He will do what He will do, I can try to imagine how things will turn out from now till the end of time, It don't mean it will ever happen my way. So I'm learning to stop wasting precious thought space, and to dwell more on useful things that i have some control over.
Law school postings came out. I totally took for granted the fact that it could very well not work out the way i planned. i mean i had done everything that i thought would secure my choice, if precedence was anything to go by. But precedence this year was a grand disappointment, because things were quite different. Not only had the posting been contracted out, it would appear my reasons were not given a moment's glance. I will not forget in a hurry how aghast i was when i saw the online receipt for the first time. it was like panic, in one of the ways I alone know how to panic. I called all those callable, i called my mother, and then i prayed. Hard. Anyways, the moment i started to suspect that the Lord had some kinda hand in it was when it occurred to my Ma to just ask this lady about it. Turned out that the lady knew someone who was asking why she did not speak up about it since. The man was willing to help, but he was taking his blessed time! So when people were busy registering, i was busy building my faith.
Faith is a wonderful thing, so wonderful that certain factors don't want you to have it. Factors like fear, doubt, unbelief. The biggest point that tried to snag me was this. God can do it, fine, but will He? What if He has some grand plan for you someplace else. Those thoughts that are the enemy's round-a-bout way of stealing your faith. Like what if you are not meant to stay in moremi, cos there's a plan for you in the dirty, chocked up new hall? What if you are meant to get a 2.2 so that you can reach out to someone, or some such bull. What if this,what if that. Second guessing God, imagining He has some other plan, and ultimately not believing.
Brilliant point shey?
Only that God does not ask us to do any of that. All He says is, fear not. Only believe. All things are possible to him that believes. Ask and you will receive. I will help you. If you trust Me, you will not be put to shame. That's what the Master says.
So i struggled to believe. Struggled not to panic. The moment i saw God really looking out for me was when i went to church, and the preacher spoke on looking up to Jesus. i thought, seriously? Why today, when i was coming to this church, and i coulda gone someplace else, or he could have come another day? I don't believe much in coincidences, and everything the man said hit the nail on the head. And after that, everytime i turned on the t.v, i would come across something on faith, on not doubting, on trusting God. It was amazing.
Then at some point, i decided that maybe Enugu was not such a bad idea. It would be a different experience, and there were fun people there anyways. But my mum said to talk to the nice lady again. the lady said Lagos was the first, and the best campus. So i started waiting again. I struggled. Had headaches, took malaria drugs. I cried. felt bad, wondered why i did not pay much attention when i could have.
I also realised that this was God calling my attention to Him. This was Him saying, kid, you need Me to succeed in this life. He was telling me that He was God, unlike any other, with great plans for my life, and all i had to do was trust and praise. My Open Heavens was on point. like i would open a page that talked about faith being able to turn a no from God to a yes. How wise people praise God to the point where He moves for them. How faith changes everything. How vain the help of man is.
And God showed Himself. In ways that i had not imagined. He showed that as rickety as my faith was, He was still there, helping me, waiting for me to come to my senses all along. He showed me that there are certain things you should not waste your time thinking about, like things you cannot change. Focusing your energy on the things you can do about a situation is so much better. Like prayer. Like faith. He is the burden nearer. looking up to Him is the best way to live.
So He gave me my experience. That which hopefully will shape my outlook on life and the way i handle stuff. My God reigns. He is totally awesome. and His mercies are...more than we can ever understand.
Thank you dear Lord. Thank you.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Your ignorance, your loss.
Deep sturvs... I need to find a solution. But in the meantime, an imperfect poem pours forth:
He carries on without much of a care, except maybe those that center around himself.
He walks around, blinded, deaf to the things he really needs to hear.
Deaf to the voice of truth, the cry of honesty, blinded by his own pride, the worse of its kind.
Because you see, the worse pride is that which is so disguised from the bearer, everyone but him sees it.
Hanging on to an archaic sense of duty, a duty that ends where the most valuable begins.
Will he ever see? will he ever realize? Who can tell him, without such becoming the enemy?
So deep has this attitude, this sense of 'right' festered,
That everyone is alienated, uninterested in partaking of his 'rightness'
All that is left, is the struggle to obey, the struggle to honor that the Bible commands.
My deepest worry, my deepest thought, is that his ignorance could lead to a loss
A loss so great, it could change my life as i know it
A loss so great, i cannot afford it
When will you see, that your acts tally not with your words?
When will you see that you have pushed away those who really care?
When will you stop hurting the one person who cares for you more than any other human being?
If it takes you that long to see, then you must journey on your own, you must not drag her with you.
Because the brunt of your ignorance will not fetch you bliss, only a loss that you could never fathom.
Your ignorance will not be my loss.
He carries on without much of a care, except maybe those that center around himself.
He walks around, blinded, deaf to the things he really needs to hear.
Deaf to the voice of truth, the cry of honesty, blinded by his own pride, the worse of its kind.
Because you see, the worse pride is that which is so disguised from the bearer, everyone but him sees it.
Hanging on to an archaic sense of duty, a duty that ends where the most valuable begins.
Will he ever see? will he ever realize? Who can tell him, without such becoming the enemy?
So deep has this attitude, this sense of 'right' festered,
That everyone is alienated, uninterested in partaking of his 'rightness'
All that is left, is the struggle to obey, the struggle to honor that the Bible commands.
My deepest worry, my deepest thought, is that his ignorance could lead to a loss
A loss so great, it could change my life as i know it
A loss so great, i cannot afford it
When will you see, that your acts tally not with your words?
When will you see that you have pushed away those who really care?
When will you stop hurting the one person who cares for you more than any other human being?
If it takes you that long to see, then you must journey on your own, you must not drag her with you.
Because the brunt of your ignorance will not fetch you bliss, only a loss that you could never fathom.
Your ignorance will not be my loss.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
thots...
My mother is awesome. I mean, I know most people go on about how they have the best mum in the world, but my Ma is truly special. And most times, you might not get the importance of something until the possibility of its loss stares you in the face.
The time had come for me to get a new phone. So in my choice of this accessory, I felt like such a sell-out to myself and my principles. People that know me know that I’m not the greatest fan of the Blackberry. Even more importantly, I seriously dislike anything second-hand, or used, except maybe its a really good car.
With this in mind, you can imagine my displeasure when I had to settle for a somewhat used...let me stop being nice... a SECOND HAND Blackberry! But I fully blame that condition that makes the crayfish bend. I thought perhaps the BB would be my best bet if I hope to stay in touch with my university buddies. So I decided, what the heck? Might as well give it a shot. And I didn’t have much time to save up properly because my father who gave me a fraction of what I needed was already asking about the new phone.
Anyway, when I did get the phone, my dad, in his typical fashion, totally attacked my choice, and i was not really expecting anything different. Thankfully, he did not know of its second-handedness, if not, I would have really heard it.
My mum on the other hand was cool about it, but apparently, she detests second hand phones more than I do. So, the following day, my Ma decided that she would give me the money I needed to get a brand new one.
You might be wondering, what’s so special about this? You see, the reason why this was a huge gesture for me was because she has been under alot of financial stress, and I do mean a lot! This second hand vehicle that she just got for work purposes has had one problem or the other cropping up everywhere (surprise surprise!), amongst other things. So there’s a reason I did not ask her for money to buy the phone. She could have said, child, manage whatever you have, get a cheaper phone, or something that would probably have been justified. But she was willing to help out, because she knew it would make me happy. The fact that she was willing to put down something just so I could get the best of what i wanted was just so amazing. It made me remember other times when this lady would bend over backwards just so her children could be happy. She would deny herself of stuff, work hard, just to see us smiling and make sure we get the best of things. Then I decided, that by God’s special grace, my mum is going to be very comfortable and happy old lady. Like i will do everything in my power to make sure she is very comfortable and lives a good life. I’ll try my best to make her real proud of me. Even though I know her investments are based solely on love and not on some desire to reap in the future, she will most definitely reap. And to the best of my ability, I will not let anyone deprive my mother of seeing her children prosperous, simply because of their stubborn, irritatingly egotistical and I-know -everything attitude. Gosh, human beings are so myopic sometimes, and the ones that should know better are so painfully clueless...
The time had come for me to get a new phone. So in my choice of this accessory, I felt like such a sell-out to myself and my principles. People that know me know that I’m not the greatest fan of the Blackberry. Even more importantly, I seriously dislike anything second-hand, or used, except maybe its a really good car.
With this in mind, you can imagine my displeasure when I had to settle for a somewhat used...let me stop being nice... a SECOND HAND Blackberry! But I fully blame that condition that makes the crayfish bend. I thought perhaps the BB would be my best bet if I hope to stay in touch with my university buddies. So I decided, what the heck? Might as well give it a shot. And I didn’t have much time to save up properly because my father who gave me a fraction of what I needed was already asking about the new phone.
Anyway, when I did get the phone, my dad, in his typical fashion, totally attacked my choice, and i was not really expecting anything different. Thankfully, he did not know of its second-handedness, if not, I would have really heard it.
My mum on the other hand was cool about it, but apparently, she detests second hand phones more than I do. So, the following day, my Ma decided that she would give me the money I needed to get a brand new one.
You might be wondering, what’s so special about this? You see, the reason why this was a huge gesture for me was because she has been under alot of financial stress, and I do mean a lot! This second hand vehicle that she just got for work purposes has had one problem or the other cropping up everywhere (surprise surprise!), amongst other things. So there’s a reason I did not ask her for money to buy the phone. She could have said, child, manage whatever you have, get a cheaper phone, or something that would probably have been justified. But she was willing to help out, because she knew it would make me happy. The fact that she was willing to put down something just so I could get the best of what i wanted was just so amazing. It made me remember other times when this lady would bend over backwards just so her children could be happy. She would deny herself of stuff, work hard, just to see us smiling and make sure we get the best of things. Then I decided, that by God’s special grace, my mum is going to be very comfortable and happy old lady. Like i will do everything in my power to make sure she is very comfortable and lives a good life. I’ll try my best to make her real proud of me. Even though I know her investments are based solely on love and not on some desire to reap in the future, she will most definitely reap. And to the best of my ability, I will not let anyone deprive my mother of seeing her children prosperous, simply because of their stubborn, irritatingly egotistical and I-know -everything attitude. Gosh, human beings are so myopic sometimes, and the ones that should know better are so painfully clueless...
Sunday, October 17, 2010
just wondering.
They say you should let sleeping dogs lie. Somehow, i find that I'll rather wake the silly dog, get my answers from it, maybe rough things up in the process. I just don't know how to let things go without it being sorted. Maybe someday I'll learn. Maybe not.
I remembered this now cos of this slightly annoying conversation i was having. like of all topics to discuss, why do you have to bring that up? But you did, and now it got me thinking, and now I'll like to get it off my chest.
Dear Sir, you have mentioned, more than once, how i left you. How i broke your heart. So that an outsider looking in would think this girl was some heartless ingrate who ripped out the heart of the love of her life and walked into the sunset.
Forgive me if I'm wrong, but the way i remember it, i could not end it, because i did not want to end it. In fact, i remember calling back, the morning after, and begging that we should try. I'll try not to dwell too much on the subsequent times that i called, and begged and all of that.
Why then do you insist that i broke your heart, like i took a deliberate decision that led to your heartbreak? Why do you mention it in your ode, in that round-about way where you say you are not really saying it?
I might be wrong, and i'm willing to take full responsibility, as i have done over the past six months.
But i'm thinking about it really, that in the light of the circumstances, would it really be fair to say i walked away from you, and i broke your heart? Because if for the sake of saying, i did walk away after that conversation, i came right back, but you refused to take me back.
I'm not trying to point fingers, or make you feel bad, or any such thing. Lord knows this is the very last subject that i want to be writing about. I just could not shake it. And you know me, that when i cant shake something, i have to let it out.
Please, if you can bear to, think about it, and decide in your mind if i really deserve the burden of blame that has been placed at my feet.
I remembered this now cos of this slightly annoying conversation i was having. like of all topics to discuss, why do you have to bring that up? But you did, and now it got me thinking, and now I'll like to get it off my chest.
Dear Sir, you have mentioned, more than once, how i left you. How i broke your heart. So that an outsider looking in would think this girl was some heartless ingrate who ripped out the heart of the love of her life and walked into the sunset.
Forgive me if I'm wrong, but the way i remember it, i could not end it, because i did not want to end it. In fact, i remember calling back, the morning after, and begging that we should try. I'll try not to dwell too much on the subsequent times that i called, and begged and all of that.
Why then do you insist that i broke your heart, like i took a deliberate decision that led to your heartbreak? Why do you mention it in your ode, in that round-about way where you say you are not really saying it?
I might be wrong, and i'm willing to take full responsibility, as i have done over the past six months.
But i'm thinking about it really, that in the light of the circumstances, would it really be fair to say i walked away from you, and i broke your heart? Because if for the sake of saying, i did walk away after that conversation, i came right back, but you refused to take me back.
I'm not trying to point fingers, or make you feel bad, or any such thing. Lord knows this is the very last subject that i want to be writing about. I just could not shake it. And you know me, that when i cant shake something, i have to let it out.
Please, if you can bear to, think about it, and decide in your mind if i really deserve the burden of blame that has been placed at my feet.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Foolish.
Foolish.
Woke up that morning, thinking, darn, it’s today.
Now it would appear, that I’ve been a fool in many ways.
Foolish to think one time I could wing it
Foolish to think I was that strong
Foolish to not think, when I needed to think
Foolish to get us undone
Foolish to think I would not love you
Foolish to think you would not change
From being a just a nice fellow in my life,
To being the only one I cared to think about
Foolish for being so insensitive
Foolish for hurting you so
Foolish for not starting the fight early
At least we would have had more joys than pain
Foolish to think I could undo what I had done
Foolish to think I would stand
When once again I did a thoughtless act
And this time, you were gone for good
Foolish to think I would be okay
Foolish to think I wouldn’t cry
Foolish to think my life would be fine
When my sunshine just walked out.
Foolish to underestimate our love
Foolish to think you would forget
Foolish to think I would cease to matter
Foolish to think you would not hurt, half as much as I was hurting
Foolish to underestimate you, as much as I did me.
Am I foolish to try to live, am I foolish to be unable to forget
Am I the greatest fool in the world, because I cant help hoping, that one day...
Let it be then, let the world label me fool. Let me hope, till there’s nothing else to hope for.
Try and stop my heart if you can, try and tell it, stop beating for him! Try and tell my memories to leave me, try and tell my soul not to care.
Because as hard as you try, you will find that they don’t listen. As much as you scream, you will find one simple truth.
The love which we speak of, is nothing short of unusual. The love which we speak of, it refuses to cease. This love is willing to wait, until it can wait no more.
Let me be foolish, let me be silly. Let the world move on, my heart remains still.
Woke up that morning, thinking, darn, it’s today.
Now it would appear, that I’ve been a fool in many ways.
Foolish to think one time I could wing it
Foolish to think I was that strong
Foolish to not think, when I needed to think
Foolish to get us undone
Foolish to think I would not love you
Foolish to think you would not change
From being a just a nice fellow in my life,
To being the only one I cared to think about
Foolish for being so insensitive
Foolish for hurting you so
Foolish for not starting the fight early
At least we would have had more joys than pain
Foolish to think I could undo what I had done
Foolish to think I would stand
When once again I did a thoughtless act
And this time, you were gone for good
Foolish to think I would be okay
Foolish to think I wouldn’t cry
Foolish to think my life would be fine
When my sunshine just walked out.
Foolish to underestimate our love
Foolish to think you would forget
Foolish to think I would cease to matter
Foolish to think you would not hurt, half as much as I was hurting
Foolish to underestimate you, as much as I did me.
Am I foolish to try to live, am I foolish to be unable to forget
Am I the greatest fool in the world, because I cant help hoping, that one day...
Let it be then, let the world label me fool. Let me hope, till there’s nothing else to hope for.
Try and stop my heart if you can, try and tell it, stop beating for him! Try and tell my memories to leave me, try and tell my soul not to care.
Because as hard as you try, you will find that they don’t listen. As much as you scream, you will find one simple truth.
The love which we speak of, is nothing short of unusual. The love which we speak of, it refuses to cease. This love is willing to wait, until it can wait no more.
Let me be foolish, let me be silly. Let the world move on, my heart remains still.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Randomz...
Geez... i remember the weirdest things...some stuff that i’m better off forgetting. Is it a blessing or a curse? Depends on how i choose to see it really... Blessing, in that I remember, and I work through it, get stronger with it, or try to put it out of my mind, or just overcome it. Curse, in that it could ruin the rest of my day, get me depressed, throw rocks in my garri, that kinda thing.
Ah well, i guess I’ll just have to live through it somehow, and hope it does not happen every single year.
So today, of all days, I had an epiphany,i think, some sort of realisation that came across as I foolishly embraced an old habit. It did feel like an epiphany, but it needs time to prove itself. Hopefully it is what I hope it is, and not just a shot of hormones sending messages to my brain.
This law school posting ish is taking forever. Like seriously, what’s the suspense for? At this rate, when it finally comes out, i’ll be in a mad rush to get things sorted. I’m not looking forward to this at all, and I hope it comes out this week.
I was flipping through TELL Magazine (yes, I do try to keep myself abreast of interesting events..interesting being they key word here), and I came across the cover story, about the bombing on Independence day. What a way to clock 50. Turns out that there were actually warnings of its occurrence, three different warnings in fact. The US and the UK knew about, and informed the government twice before the event. It is only in Nigeria that with such a warning, and while showing off our ‘graceful’ military defence regalia, the explosions will still happen. Everybody is now pointing fingers at everybody. The major suspect according to the magazine is Henry Okah, a MEND affiliate who lives in South Africa and supplies ammunition. My mind then drifted to the Niger Delta, their situation, and the militants. All these people want is for the government to pay attention to their towns, to provide them with basic amenities so that they stop dying of various diseases and living in desolation. How can the people living in the source of most of the oil we have in this nation be in so much poverty and lack? It makes no sense whatsoever. One can see where these militants are coming from, trying to fight for a better life for their people.
Why are Nigerians so greedy and power hungry? How can leaders be so terribly selfish, so inanely myopic? I don’t get it at all. Its these kind of things that make us lose hope in Nigeria. During the independence day, quite frankly, other than giving God thanks for His mercies, i could not think of much to celebrate. People are dying, while others are making stupid money, using ridiculous sums to celebrate a farce. What can we show for our 50 years in existence?
These thoughts were on my mind when I had another epiphany...actually, this was the first epiphany before I had that of today.
I was in Redemption camp, when the national sports organisation or some such body came forward to honour Pastor Adeboye as the spiritual adviser or something. As the G.O came forward, what struck me was the fact that this man, despite the mess the nation is in, still believes in Nigeria. He prays endlessly, tirelessly for the restoration of this land. It was his faith that made me realise hat Nigeria is not the one with the problem. Nigeria as an entity is made up of great resources, great people (for the most part), enormous potential. It is the people in authority that are so horribly messed up. Nigeria belongs to us. Belongs to our fathers, our mothers, our children, brothers and sisters. So we can do either of two things really. We can keep pointing fingers, keep abusing the nation, keep saying all things negative and ultimately, we can flee, leaving the nation in the hands of the thieves to plunder to their heart’s content . Or, we can go the place of power, which is the place of prayer. We can keep beseeching God to have mercy on us. We can purge our own souls of the corruption that lies therein. Because the truth is that we shout and yell that are leaders are corrupt, but as young as we are, the corruption is below the surface, waiting to for the right opportunity to erupt. How do you explain student leaders on campuses blatantly stealing the money of their organisations and doctoring records to cover their tracks? Someone said that you should be the change you want to see in the world. If all the leaders die tomorrow, can we confidently say that the younger generation will do better? I certainly cannot. If you work in an office and you fill in false records of your arrival time, if you ask someone to fill in your name illegally so that you will get benefits you did not work for or deserve, if you add an extra zero behind that cheque or receipt for your gain, if you lie and cheat and manipulate your way to the top, if you justify bad habits instead of facing them and dealing with them, then you need to take a closer look in the mirror, because then, we will be no better than the Babangidas of this world, and we will only be making useless pretentious noise, not because we want the world to be a better place, but because we are not the ones who got the golden opportunity to loot and steal and get rich quickly.
Random thoughts that cross my mind on this day, of all days. If you are reading this, and you know who you are, I’m assuming you remember as I ask, it’s been quite a year, hasn’t it?
Ah well, i guess I’ll just have to live through it somehow, and hope it does not happen every single year.
So today, of all days, I had an epiphany,i think, some sort of realisation that came across as I foolishly embraced an old habit. It did feel like an epiphany, but it needs time to prove itself. Hopefully it is what I hope it is, and not just a shot of hormones sending messages to my brain.
This law school posting ish is taking forever. Like seriously, what’s the suspense for? At this rate, when it finally comes out, i’ll be in a mad rush to get things sorted. I’m not looking forward to this at all, and I hope it comes out this week.
I was flipping through TELL Magazine (yes, I do try to keep myself abreast of interesting events..interesting being they key word here), and I came across the cover story, about the bombing on Independence day. What a way to clock 50. Turns out that there were actually warnings of its occurrence, three different warnings in fact. The US and the UK knew about, and informed the government twice before the event. It is only in Nigeria that with such a warning, and while showing off our ‘graceful’ military defence regalia, the explosions will still happen. Everybody is now pointing fingers at everybody. The major suspect according to the magazine is Henry Okah, a MEND affiliate who lives in South Africa and supplies ammunition. My mind then drifted to the Niger Delta, their situation, and the militants. All these people want is for the government to pay attention to their towns, to provide them with basic amenities so that they stop dying of various diseases and living in desolation. How can the people living in the source of most of the oil we have in this nation be in so much poverty and lack? It makes no sense whatsoever. One can see where these militants are coming from, trying to fight for a better life for their people.
Why are Nigerians so greedy and power hungry? How can leaders be so terribly selfish, so inanely myopic? I don’t get it at all. Its these kind of things that make us lose hope in Nigeria. During the independence day, quite frankly, other than giving God thanks for His mercies, i could not think of much to celebrate. People are dying, while others are making stupid money, using ridiculous sums to celebrate a farce. What can we show for our 50 years in existence?
These thoughts were on my mind when I had another epiphany...actually, this was the first epiphany before I had that of today.
I was in Redemption camp, when the national sports organisation or some such body came forward to honour Pastor Adeboye as the spiritual adviser or something. As the G.O came forward, what struck me was the fact that this man, despite the mess the nation is in, still believes in Nigeria. He prays endlessly, tirelessly for the restoration of this land. It was his faith that made me realise hat Nigeria is not the one with the problem. Nigeria as an entity is made up of great resources, great people (for the most part), enormous potential. It is the people in authority that are so horribly messed up. Nigeria belongs to us. Belongs to our fathers, our mothers, our children, brothers and sisters. So we can do either of two things really. We can keep pointing fingers, keep abusing the nation, keep saying all things negative and ultimately, we can flee, leaving the nation in the hands of the thieves to plunder to their heart’s content . Or, we can go the place of power, which is the place of prayer. We can keep beseeching God to have mercy on us. We can purge our own souls of the corruption that lies therein. Because the truth is that we shout and yell that are leaders are corrupt, but as young as we are, the corruption is below the surface, waiting to for the right opportunity to erupt. How do you explain student leaders on campuses blatantly stealing the money of their organisations and doctoring records to cover their tracks? Someone said that you should be the change you want to see in the world. If all the leaders die tomorrow, can we confidently say that the younger generation will do better? I certainly cannot. If you work in an office and you fill in false records of your arrival time, if you ask someone to fill in your name illegally so that you will get benefits you did not work for or deserve, if you add an extra zero behind that cheque or receipt for your gain, if you lie and cheat and manipulate your way to the top, if you justify bad habits instead of facing them and dealing with them, then you need to take a closer look in the mirror, because then, we will be no better than the Babangidas of this world, and we will only be making useless pretentious noise, not because we want the world to be a better place, but because we are not the ones who got the golden opportunity to loot and steal and get rich quickly.
Random thoughts that cross my mind on this day, of all days. If you are reading this, and you know who you are, I’m assuming you remember as I ask, it’s been quite a year, hasn’t it?
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Remembering...
Remembering.
For a day that was supposed to be fun, today was pretty darn stressful. In my tired state, I began to reflect on my university experience, at least some parts of it. So today, I’m gonna write about some really good times I can remember. Hopefully in the future, when I’m real busy, or working very hard, or just swamped with this and that, I can take time out to read it and smile. Here goes...
Year 1.
My best memories here centre mostly on opard. We used to hang out quite a lot back then, and I can say he was pretty much my first real friend in unilag. We would walk around, talking about his many philosophies, or rather, he was educating me about them. He used to sing the weirdest songs too. I remember one day, I was feeling rather gloomy, for reasons i cannot remember and my good friend Opard broke out into one of his many songs, and I laughed so much, all the gloom disappeared. It was like a ray of sunshine on a very cloudy day. Yes. My first year was good. I had Opard in it, and I would not trade him for the world.
Year 2.
Hmmm...somehow myself and opard where not as close as we used to be, I guess new situations and experiences came along. We even had a fight at the beginning of the session, but he taught me stuff, like when things are bad between you and a person, you don’t carry on as though things will never get better, or like you’ve totally given up on that person, unless of course you have.
One major thing I will never forget about this year was what was to be the beginnings of my reading adventure with Ekwi. You see, me and this girl started talking in year 1, but we got closer in this period, and we would read together. We all lamented that who sent us to read law, when we could have been happy dancing for grades or drawing or something, the suffering was still new to us. There was the street light episode, where we had to seat under the lamps at the centre of the road because there was no light anywhere else. I distinctly remember the incident where we had read all night, were very tired, and we had early morning papers. Exams were over for everyone else, so we, i.e my class mates were generally the only ones around. After we had taken a bath, we decided to attempt to rest for an hour before the paper. We even knelt down with our heads on the bed so we would not sleep too much. Apparently sleeping at all was a bad idea because by the time we woke up, we were in pain! Those were the beginnings of what we would call suffer-head days...
I cannot not mention my first real guy-experience that occurred in this year. It was the first time I had someone really like me..like he was quite besotted! It was nice to be able to make someone that happy. Apparently, I would later learn in my experiences, that I could make a person really sad too.
Year3.
As much as I would say that this year was not my best in many ways, I have some really good memories that I must not forget. This was the period in which I started talking with Icicles. Ii remember that after roda one day, he called me up after 12, and we chatted about all kinds of stuff. Little did I know that this was to become a constant occurrence. We would talk for nights at a stretch, many hours, then we would wake up with what i termed ‘talk hang-overs’. Those were fun times, perhaps the best in my entire 3rd year experience.
Year4.
I have two major events that I will always remember this year for: the moot competition and valentines day. I’ll start with the latter.
It has become something of a tradition for myself and my big sister to sacrifice sleep on the altar of business during valentines day. We work hard to bake those tasty chocolate cakes and get them all ready for that ‘special’ day. Anyways, vals day of year 4 was no exception. We had been up for two nights at a stretch and it was delivery time. The day started with a trip to idi-araba to drop off some cakes, then to unilag. There was so much traffic! I remember this because I was to run my errands quickly, then spend the rest of the day with Icicles. But traffic had its own plans. I was quite delayed in getting home, quite tired too. I remember that icicles came to my house to take me back to school, and I still had two stressful deliveries to make. In addition, it decided to rain on that day. He was gracious enough to take me on my delivery rounds, which were once again fraught with traffic. I also remember that there was no food anywhere. Now I’m sure your thinking, where is the good part? I’ll tell you in a bit. At the end of the day, when I was done with all the work and we had little hanging out time left, while I was thanking him for being so supportive and wot-not, he said to me, ‘ You’re everything I want, and then some.’ I don’t think I will ever forget that statement. Because it crowned the day with so much love, and it will go down in history as my best valentines day in unilag, and in my life so far. No one has ever said that to me. So saying it, and meaning it, totally transformed my day, heck , my life. It made me feel so good, and I replayed it over and over, and one day, I hope to God that I will be able to tell him the same thing, when all issues in heaven and on earth have been sorted out.
Next up, the moot competition. That was the first time I would represent unilag for anything. It was such a good experience, for two major reasons. First off, it brought me closer to my partner, Gbonka. I remember that we would wake up almost everyday for a month, head to the law annex, and begin practicing. We would read, memorise, watch a bit of the great debaters for inspiration, we would criticise, fumble, start again, it was amazing! Really good stuff I tell you. Even though we did not win, I was glad that I was able to stand before those foreign judges and not stutter. We made pretty good points, even won our rounds, the points were just not high enough for the finals.
I cannot not mention one of the most amazing lawyers that I had the privilege of meeting during the moot. Mr. Babatunde Irukera impressed me for many reasons. He had absolutely no reason to be there with us, teaching and coaching. He probably had better things to do with his time. But this man took it upon himself to share from his vast experience and properly tutor us in the art of advocacy. He was even willing to pull an all-nighter with us! I was amazed, like, are there really people like this in the world? He was extremely cool, very supportive, and even when we did not win, he still thought we were very good. One day soon, hopefully, I’ll get the chance to work a real life case with him. He, being a major part of my 400 level, definitely made it worthwhile.
Year 5.
Ah yes...the final year. I don’t think I’ll be forgetting this year in a hurry. Lets see...good memories...
Majorly, i will not forget my friendship with Gbonka. He helped me through some really hard times, and hanging with him was such fun. We would go on bread and sardine dates, work hard on my project, try out new food joints, have walking tutorial sessions, strategize on how to go about exams. He shared my burden of finishing with a good grade, and he believed with me. I will never forget the Sunday when I could not stay in my room, I was feeling really horrible, somewhat claustrophobic. I called him out of his room for the second time that day, and we walked to the senate. I remember we sat there, and I just wept, because I was so sad. He was just there, listening to me ramble on and cry, and he understood. He was one of the few people that actually got where I was coming from. Perhaps that night was the cement that sealed our friendship. I will certainly remember him fondly in my university experience.
One of the really good memories I have are of my final year dinner. I actually had a good time. After all the stress, it was really nice. The company, the food, the little after-party adventure, everything was just...fun. I wont expanciate much because I’ve done that already in my previous blog, but I can safely say, I made a good choice in dates.
Finally, I must write about the results. I will not forget it so easily because of how close i was to losing it. I mean, I could very easily have finished with a 2.2, the rate at which I was going. I filled my law school form and put a 2.1 as the class of degree because i was believing God for a miracle, and i most certainly got it. I don’t believe I have thanked Him enough for what He did for me. I will be eternally grateful to Him for His mercies.
My university years were nothing like I imagined it would be. But then, almost nothing is usually as i imagine. It’s usually better. Sometimes worse, but mostly better. It was a great learning experience, and I am truly thankful for everything.
For a day that was supposed to be fun, today was pretty darn stressful. In my tired state, I began to reflect on my university experience, at least some parts of it. So today, I’m gonna write about some really good times I can remember. Hopefully in the future, when I’m real busy, or working very hard, or just swamped with this and that, I can take time out to read it and smile. Here goes...
Year 1.
My best memories here centre mostly on opard. We used to hang out quite a lot back then, and I can say he was pretty much my first real friend in unilag. We would walk around, talking about his many philosophies, or rather, he was educating me about them. He used to sing the weirdest songs too. I remember one day, I was feeling rather gloomy, for reasons i cannot remember and my good friend Opard broke out into one of his many songs, and I laughed so much, all the gloom disappeared. It was like a ray of sunshine on a very cloudy day. Yes. My first year was good. I had Opard in it, and I would not trade him for the world.
Year 2.
Hmmm...somehow myself and opard where not as close as we used to be, I guess new situations and experiences came along. We even had a fight at the beginning of the session, but he taught me stuff, like when things are bad between you and a person, you don’t carry on as though things will never get better, or like you’ve totally given up on that person, unless of course you have.
One major thing I will never forget about this year was what was to be the beginnings of my reading adventure with Ekwi. You see, me and this girl started talking in year 1, but we got closer in this period, and we would read together. We all lamented that who sent us to read law, when we could have been happy dancing for grades or drawing or something, the suffering was still new to us. There was the street light episode, where we had to seat under the lamps at the centre of the road because there was no light anywhere else. I distinctly remember the incident where we had read all night, were very tired, and we had early morning papers. Exams were over for everyone else, so we, i.e my class mates were generally the only ones around. After we had taken a bath, we decided to attempt to rest for an hour before the paper. We even knelt down with our heads on the bed so we would not sleep too much. Apparently sleeping at all was a bad idea because by the time we woke up, we were in pain! Those were the beginnings of what we would call suffer-head days...
I cannot not mention my first real guy-experience that occurred in this year. It was the first time I had someone really like me..like he was quite besotted! It was nice to be able to make someone that happy. Apparently, I would later learn in my experiences, that I could make a person really sad too.
Year3.
As much as I would say that this year was not my best in many ways, I have some really good memories that I must not forget. This was the period in which I started talking with Icicles. Ii remember that after roda one day, he called me up after 12, and we chatted about all kinds of stuff. Little did I know that this was to become a constant occurrence. We would talk for nights at a stretch, many hours, then we would wake up with what i termed ‘talk hang-overs’. Those were fun times, perhaps the best in my entire 3rd year experience.
Year4.
I have two major events that I will always remember this year for: the moot competition and valentines day. I’ll start with the latter.
It has become something of a tradition for myself and my big sister to sacrifice sleep on the altar of business during valentines day. We work hard to bake those tasty chocolate cakes and get them all ready for that ‘special’ day. Anyways, vals day of year 4 was no exception. We had been up for two nights at a stretch and it was delivery time. The day started with a trip to idi-araba to drop off some cakes, then to unilag. There was so much traffic! I remember this because I was to run my errands quickly, then spend the rest of the day with Icicles. But traffic had its own plans. I was quite delayed in getting home, quite tired too. I remember that icicles came to my house to take me back to school, and I still had two stressful deliveries to make. In addition, it decided to rain on that day. He was gracious enough to take me on my delivery rounds, which were once again fraught with traffic. I also remember that there was no food anywhere. Now I’m sure your thinking, where is the good part? I’ll tell you in a bit. At the end of the day, when I was done with all the work and we had little hanging out time left, while I was thanking him for being so supportive and wot-not, he said to me, ‘ You’re everything I want, and then some.’ I don’t think I will ever forget that statement. Because it crowned the day with so much love, and it will go down in history as my best valentines day in unilag, and in my life so far. No one has ever said that to me. So saying it, and meaning it, totally transformed my day, heck , my life. It made me feel so good, and I replayed it over and over, and one day, I hope to God that I will be able to tell him the same thing, when all issues in heaven and on earth have been sorted out.
Next up, the moot competition. That was the first time I would represent unilag for anything. It was such a good experience, for two major reasons. First off, it brought me closer to my partner, Gbonka. I remember that we would wake up almost everyday for a month, head to the law annex, and begin practicing. We would read, memorise, watch a bit of the great debaters for inspiration, we would criticise, fumble, start again, it was amazing! Really good stuff I tell you. Even though we did not win, I was glad that I was able to stand before those foreign judges and not stutter. We made pretty good points, even won our rounds, the points were just not high enough for the finals.
I cannot not mention one of the most amazing lawyers that I had the privilege of meeting during the moot. Mr. Babatunde Irukera impressed me for many reasons. He had absolutely no reason to be there with us, teaching and coaching. He probably had better things to do with his time. But this man took it upon himself to share from his vast experience and properly tutor us in the art of advocacy. He was even willing to pull an all-nighter with us! I was amazed, like, are there really people like this in the world? He was extremely cool, very supportive, and even when we did not win, he still thought we were very good. One day soon, hopefully, I’ll get the chance to work a real life case with him. He, being a major part of my 400 level, definitely made it worthwhile.
Year 5.
Ah yes...the final year. I don’t think I’ll be forgetting this year in a hurry. Lets see...good memories...
Majorly, i will not forget my friendship with Gbonka. He helped me through some really hard times, and hanging with him was such fun. We would go on bread and sardine dates, work hard on my project, try out new food joints, have walking tutorial sessions, strategize on how to go about exams. He shared my burden of finishing with a good grade, and he believed with me. I will never forget the Sunday when I could not stay in my room, I was feeling really horrible, somewhat claustrophobic. I called him out of his room for the second time that day, and we walked to the senate. I remember we sat there, and I just wept, because I was so sad. He was just there, listening to me ramble on and cry, and he understood. He was one of the few people that actually got where I was coming from. Perhaps that night was the cement that sealed our friendship. I will certainly remember him fondly in my university experience.
One of the really good memories I have are of my final year dinner. I actually had a good time. After all the stress, it was really nice. The company, the food, the little after-party adventure, everything was just...fun. I wont expanciate much because I’ve done that already in my previous blog, but I can safely say, I made a good choice in dates.
Finally, I must write about the results. I will not forget it so easily because of how close i was to losing it. I mean, I could very easily have finished with a 2.2, the rate at which I was going. I filled my law school form and put a 2.1 as the class of degree because i was believing God for a miracle, and i most certainly got it. I don’t believe I have thanked Him enough for what He did for me. I will be eternally grateful to Him for His mercies.
My university years were nothing like I imagined it would be. But then, almost nothing is usually as i imagine. It’s usually better. Sometimes worse, but mostly better. It was a great learning experience, and I am truly thankful for everything.
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